River of Refuge newsletter, March 2026

‘Swift Completion of Their Appointed Rounds’: Letter Carrier Lives Up to Postal Motto in Working River of Refuge Program

It’s not unusual for River of Refuge families to enter the program after feeling like they have overstayed their welcome while living with a relative. It’s also not uncommon for them to get so comfortable here that they hesitate to leave even after they have dug themselves out of their financial hole.

Ashley, a single mother of a 2-year-old daughter, fell into both those categories.

It wasn’t exactly like her aunt asked her to leave, but she just felt a little in the way, and that’s when a Google search for transitional housing led her to River of Refuge in July.

It didn’t take her long to pay off her debt of around $2,000 — owed mostly to her former apartment complex and to the gas company — and she stayed for a little more than four months as she built up some savings.

River of Refuge staff were a bit worried that Ashley had not built up enough of a nest egg before leaving.

But even though she was hesitant to give up the support network she had here, Ashley was determined to be on her own before she turned 30 in October, a goal she missed only by a couple of days.

She is renting an apartment in Raytown, where she wanted to be because it is close to the route she works as a postal carrier (where she will log 10 to 12 miles and about 30,000 steps in a single shift). Her daughter is doing well and has adapted to the new apartment and the new routine.

Ashley grew up in Kansas City, Missouri, and graduated from Lincoln College Preparatory Academy.

Giving up some of the freedom you are used to can be a challenge when entering River of Refuge.

Ashley felt a little of that, but she also came in with the determination to set things right. River of Refuge gave her the space to reset and relieve the weight of her debt.

“I was ready because I knew that I had to make a decision, considering I had a child,” Ashley said.

“It was definitely a change, for sure, from what I was used to, like my everyday style and what I did and everything,” she added. “But it wasn’t really hard because I came in there with a goal. I definitely set that goal early on, and I was super excited about it. I came in there and took care of what I needed to take care of.”

Ashley learned a lot from the parenting classes and Ashley was especially thankful for the support of the other parents who were working the program at the same time. They were always there to help watch her daughter when the need arose, and she has even visited one couple she grew close to while they were all living at River of Refuge.

Managing household finances was one of the most important skills she picked up at River of Refuge.

“I think everybody should budget, just so you know where your money is going, and just so you can save more,” Ashley said.

The unity of the families is what Ashley will remember most about River of Refuge.

“So definitely unity, for sure,” she said, “just us coming together, all working together, helping each other out. Because at the end of the day, we all had a goal, and we all have the same background, right?”

 

New Infant and Toddler Room Improves Child Care Program

Anyone who has been around kids knows that managing a bunch of them can be hectic, especially when the age range runs from infants up to preteens.

That’s why River of Refuge is thankful to Village Presbyterian Church in Prairie Village, Kansas, for a grant that helped us convert a space we used to use for a clothes pantry into a room for infants and toddlers.

River of Refuge provides childcare on evenings when parents attend mandatory classes, and now we can separate 0- to 3-year-olds from older kids. Volunteers and staff watch the kids and oversee enrichment activities.

Instead of maintaining a clothes pantry on site, which has proven unwieldy, River of Refuge has partnered with thrift stores that provide vouchers to our families.

We opened the infant and toddler room in December. We have equipped the room with sensory toys for autistic children.

 

FROM THE DIRECTOR

Welcome to springtime in Missouri! One day, we’re breaking record highs. The next day, we’re wearing hats and gloves to work.

And what about that crazy swing we had during a recent weekend — from 60s to sleet in a matter of hours!

We Midwesterners are a hardy, tenacious group to handle such mercurial weather. And speaking of hardy and tenacious, let me tell you about our recent graduates and my mother-in-law.

I’m so proud of the families that recently completed our program. They demonstrated true grit in getting their lives on track and left here ready to handle anything that life throws at them.

We had one couple who saved enough to purchase their own home.

But many of the graduates were single moms. It’s not easy raising children on your own without any help from the dad. The determination and focus these moms showed was astounding.

As I reflected on this most recent group of graduates, I thought they really represented the essence of what we do here at River of Refuge.

We are not a temporary refuge from the cold, nor are we a low-barrier shelter that takes all comers. Not that those are bad – our housing continuum needs a variety of programs.

Our niche in the housing community is serving motivated individuals who are willing to take ownership of their lives and change their behavior. This was a group that, by and large, had steady jobs that paid a livable wage.

They needed a hand-up, not a handout.

It’s that independence and determination that remind me of my mother-in-law, who passed away recently at the age of 94.

While she was never homeless, nor did she raise her three children in a single-parent household, she was as steadfast as they come. While my father-in-law would’ve never tried to control her, she would’ve put a stop to that right quick if he had.

She celebrated strong women and believed they all should be successful in their own skin.

She was a very strong Democrat from a tiny, rural Northwest Missouri town that was very Republican.

Her sharp mind and independence were intact until the end.

Heck, even though she was weak and confined to a wheelchair, she was still talking about going to a political demonstration during the last few months of her life. We couldn’t make that happen in her condition.

Like many older adults, my mother-in-law pretty much lost her filter as she aged.

One day, she asked my daughter-in-law if she had any tattoos.

“Why, should I?” she replied.

“I think it would be great to have a butterfly tattoo,” my mother-in-law said.

The conversation went that way for a while, and in the end, my mother-in-law said she would like to have a small tattoo on her ankle — even though her tension socks would’ve covered it.

That year, I gave her temporary butterfly tattoos.

She was always up for any party or adventure.

R.I.P. Rosalee! You are missed.

Until Next Time,
Pamela Seymour, Executive Director