River of Refuge newsletter, March 2024

Course Teaches River of Refuge Teens About Addiction

Addiction is something that many of the children living at River of Refuge experience, whether it’s within their own family or among peers.

To help these young residents navigate that difficult issue, River of Refuge introduced a seven-session course during its Monday evening Teen Talk program. The course finished last week.

Offered through First Call, an area nonprofit devoted to reducing the impacts of substance abuse in the community, the “Caring for Kids” program is built around five “C’s” that tell participants they:

• Did not cause the disease
• Can’t cure it
• Can’t control it
• Can cope with it
• Can learn how to better care for themselves (to avoid bad choices that might lead to substance abuse)

The facilitator was Hector Contreras, a community prevention specialist with First Call. He worked with an eight-person group (three girls and five boys) that included three sets of siblings.

The group became more talkative as the weeks went by, Contreras said.

Talk of career goals engaged the group, but it also seemed to Contreras that the teens did not seem very excited about their choices at the beginning. That was natural, he said, because children who have experienced trauma are more attuned to basic needs, such as food and shelter, rather than having the luxury of thinking about the future.

But, he said, the excitement grew as “they recognized that the goals and the dreams they have for their lives do matter and that they can achieve them through hard work.”

He noticed a hint of a smile from one reserved girl when she talked about becoming a nurse. Several wanted to become equestrians. One expressed interest in being a bodyguard.

Contreras celebrated the conclusion of the course by bringing two Papa John’s pizzas to the final session. Contreras took it as a good sign that the teens still asked if he was coming back the next week.

Contreras enjoyed the experience and would welcome the opportunity to reconnect with the current group or work with another one.

He works in other settings where, for whatever reason, the adolescents are separated from their parents. This experience was different.

“It’s important to have places like River of Refuge where they make an effort to keep a family together,” he said, “so they can heal together, and separately, at the same time.”

 

ROR Families Celebrate March Holidays

It has become a tradition on the last Tuesday of the month for our families to enjoy a dinner provided by Someone That Cares Ministry, founded by ROR case manager Dianna Poston. This month’s dinner had an Easter and St. Patrick’s Day theme.

 

FROM THE DIRECTOR

Spring is here, but it barely feels like it with morning freezes and the occasional round of sleet.

Yet I continue to think about the warmth of community, and not because my musings came a few weeks ago amidst the 70-degree temperatures in Arizona.

What kept me reflecting on the power of kinship — which I wrote about last month regarding our River of Refuge families — were the interactions my husband and I had with folks in the Scottsdale neighborhood where my mother-in-law wintered for more than 40 years.

Going on 93 years old, my mother-in-law now lives year-round in an assisted-living community in Kansas City, Missouri. She has not been to Scottsdale for three years, and my husband and I went there to check on her house.

It seemed like we could barely walk anywhere in the community without former neighbors asking about how my mother-in-law was doing and reminiscing about their times together. Every day we encountered more of her acquaintances, though there have been many friends through the years who have passed or relocated to senior living facilities.

My mother-in-law has told us many stories about Scottsdale, but it was deeply touching to experience firsthand the depths of the friendships she made there. We realized the sense of community that bound these longtime friends together. She will never return to Scottsdale, but she has memories to cherish forever.

One special moment came when my husband worshipped at the home of a retired priest. He, too, is in his 90s but continues holding “church” every Sunday, where 15 to 25 neighbors gather at his place to pray, share stories, and take Communion.

Looking ahead, next month I will travel to southeast Kansas for a reunion of first cousins in my family. We have been gathering for several years, and with many of the attendees much older than me, deaths have led our numbers to dwindle. Close since we were children, we first cousins have created a community of our own.

This is an important time of year for many religions. Muslims are in the midst of Ramadan, Christians will celebrate Easter on Sunday, and the Jewish holiday of Passover takes place next month.

The spirituality of the season is another poignant reminder of human connection. My hope is that everyone reading this will think about their community. Do you have one? Does everyone know how special they are to you?

Until Next Time,
Pamela Seymour, Executive Director